This is the season where the germs come out of hiding and dominate the human world. Do not try to deny the fact that within the 90 plus days of freezing cold temperatures you will not once get sick. I thought that this year would be different, that I was finally immune to the strain of various flues, germs, and viruses out there. I had made it as far as early February when the sore throat symptoms finally kicked in. Oh, how foolish I was. Be prepared for winter is not leaving anytime soon for the endless running noses, coughing, and sneezes.
On average according to the government of Canada, millions of people in Canada get influenza (the common flu) every year, the people getting sick more often in the winter seasons. Yet, not all Canadians take their annual flu shot, one of the many reasons why I myself have a very irritating stuffy nose that not only bothers me but bothers my peers and my family. The flu is an air-born virus with many different symptoms ranging from an upset stomach to nausea to a sore throat to chills and fatigue and even a blocked or runny nose like my own. I believe we should all try our best to prevent such a nuisance to roam the earth and our bodies much longer by considering a shot. And if you are a big baby or have some sort of needle phobia, at least wash your hands every now and then and sneeze into your sleeve to not spread as much germs.
Sneezing and coughing are two notorious partners in crime and their sole mission is to emit germs and viruses and such through the innocent humans’ beautiful faces. As I write this now, I am struggling with the tempting urge to let go of my control and let loose a probably endless barrage of sneezes and coughs and sniffles and snuffles and outrageously loud barks. Alas, the residents of my home are safe for the time being for my self-control is that of a lion avoiding the most delicious zebra carcass in the Savanna brought to him by the absolute most stunning of the female lioness.
In all seriousness, sneezing and coughing on people and the things they touch is just pure disgusting. Therefore, I challenge you all with what I thought to be a near impossible task of actually sneezing and coughing into your elbow joint. For some reason, people always tell me that less germs are spread that way (where I just see it as making yourself even sicker) but it is the respectful thing to do. Blow your nose too for nobody likes seeing one’s makamasi (Swahili for “snot”) all over the place. Yuck!
Believe it or not, I find myself, I am not sure about others, to be farting a considerable amount more during the flu seasons than other days. If you could so kindly read my previous articles on the anatomy of the infamous fart, you understand when I say the Ports are happening on the potty if you know what I mean. I am seriously finding myself in situations where either my stomach is painful like I have been pierced by an arrow only to find nothing come out or once I sit to let loose, it starts coming down like my butts a rainforest! The sloshing and plopping is unbelievable, and when I groan like a distressed monkey from all the pain from the experience, even my mother in her room wearing headphones watching her African movies can understand the pain I am going through. And let us not even get started about the farts that I find myself slipping in school. Let’s just say my friends avoid me because of my “distinct smell” a couple times a day.
The wintertime sicknesses are no joke, my friends. I hear measles is back. I mean, I pity the couples that share a bed at night even when they are sick. The coughing and sneezing and farting and germ sharing must probably be horrendous for the wife who must endure all of that combined stench (and I am not signifying that men are the only ones who get sick and stink up the bed at night but I am saying that there is some room for improvement on how we stay healthy, with all our rough-housing games and trying to make the loudest fart).
I have a mission to stay as neat and clean as possible so I must never have to endure these terrible sicknesses in the years to come. Such a goal will be a challenge because of all the germs we emit everyday, but I bet that if all us Canadians and even others worldwide really tried to stay clean, avoid dirtying others, and wash our hands with soap regularly like we are supposed to, even a little bit of a difference can be made towards our goal of a sneeze-free world.
Boyson-Angelous.