The beginning of another school year is just around the corner. Some people are eager to enter a new grade, learn different subjects, interact with new friends, and most importantly, finally have a new teacher. Others however, are brought to tears by the consideration of having to go back to the one place they rather not dwell in. Some hate the place, the subjects, the peers they will be stuck with for another ten months, and the teachers who, for some, will think it is their duty to make your school life hell on earth.

Yes, some love school like they love candy, rainbows and everything sweet and nice, some despise the even unbearable thought of having to set foot on the cursed school grounds, and then some students are like me, who like and dislike school. I like it because I don’t have to spend another day trapped in the house with my superior parents and my bothersome sister, but I dislike it too because of the lack of male teachers.

Where the male teachers are is something I have been wondering for a while now. In July 2013, it was discovered by Statistics Canada that, out of all 789,800 teachers and professors in Canada, 65.5% of teachers and professors throughout Canada were female and the remaining 34.5% were male teachers and professors. Up until second grade, I had never once seen a man teach. At the time, I thought it was because men were dumb (except me, of course). Besides, the female teachers were so kind (something seldom seen from the women in my Africanadian household HAHA!) and we often played games or were read stories. The lack of male teachers didn’t really bother me much.

And then it happened. A legend was born. Older students often chattered about a male teacher who taught the third grade. I had never seen him before (due to his one year hiatus), so of course I did not believe their tales. They were nothing but mere fables, fairytales. Come start of the third grade for me, the rumors were put to rest. Upon entering the classroom, there before me stood a tall bald Caucasian wearing a purple stripped tie. This man’s head not only reflected the sun into the classroom from outside, but he was also a source of energy too. He radiated joy, intelligence, and a whole lot of fun! He was by far the best teacher I ever had (mostly because he gave me some very excellent, well deserved, marks) because he was the first male teacher I had ever seen with my own eyes and not just heard about in gossip. He was truly a legendary teacher and shall forever be known as the best teacher that has ever taught the remarkable, intelligent, attractive life form, me!

I wish more students could have the same experience I had with my first male teacher but unfortunately, that doesn’t really happen much. Most watoto might end up having their first male teacher being a middle aged nearly blind science professor or an overweight grumpy physical education teacher in high school and that is something I would never wish upon my fellow brothers and sisters. So why, oh why are there not a lot of male teachers?

I am going to tell you all what women who are asked this question will immediately start thinking: “Oh isn’t it obvious? Men are thick, dense, dimwitted, dummies! They are not as nearly as smart as women are!” is what is going through every female’s mind reading this at right about this moment. I am going to make it very clear, my most wonderful ladies! MEN ARE AS SMART AS WOMEN (if not smarter)! No, my real opinion is quite different. A lot of men if asked would probably say that teaching is not a really interesting line of work. I have actually heard some of my man friends say things such as: Teaching is dull, stressful and boring. I wouldn’t want to spend every day with children. It is a “girly” job. I do not want to mark tests all the time. BO-RING! Unfortunately, what these man friends of mine do not know is the Watotos want male teachers as much as they want to become rich and famous.

Let’s say a couple with children gets a divorce. In most cases, the mother wins custody over the children in the legal battles following the annulment. When you are always around your mother, as much as you love her, you need a man in your life. You might not to get to visit or see your father all the time so a male teacher could mean a whole lot more to you than anyone could know. When I started grade school, my father was elsewhere attending university and when I was in grade three, I finally had someone who I could trust to help me with things I just didn’t want to bother my mother with. Like one time, I was purchasing a book order item. I used up all my nickels and dimes trying to get the book everyone else was getting but it still was not enough. I accidentally handed in the order form two dollars short, and my teacher added his own money to help me get the book I wanted without even telling me until later. I was so grateful since my mother always thought that book orders were “a waste of money” since she knew where she could get the same books at a cheaper price. I certainly would not have been able to ask her for some extra coins in that situation. You see, all Watotos need a man in their life to help guide them to become better persons whether it is a father or teacher.

Yes, female teachers are cool and all, but, as I like to say, a man knows what a man knows, and a woman can never know what a man knows like the way a man knows it (made that up myself, quote me if you like). For example, I was able to hang out with my “manly” seventh grade teacher in our school gymnasium during recesses to play basketball with him. No female teachers in our school can even get the ball in the hoop let alone play competitively. Sometimes, I stay in during our breaks and just talk to him about certain things I would not normally bother to talk about with my parents like comics and video games. Often, I argue about the marks I get on tests and assignments with him, but of course, unlike women teachers I have had before, he knows I am joking and he does not decrease my mark for opening my big mouth like some other teachers I have had.

Male teachers are truly fascinating gift from above. Alas, like all other glorious things in life, they are rarely seen on earth, or at least in elementary schools in Canada. I am almost in high school and have had my good share of male teachers in elementary school (four so far). I tell you all, enjoy them while you can, because I hear horrible stories of atrocious teachers and professors in high school and onward. At least in elementary school, the male gym teachers smell decent and are actually fit. High school is a whole other story.

So, my fellow boy Watotos, I hope you can help our next generation of Watotos by considering a teaching career (preferably in elementary school so they will actually like you) before the government starts manufacturing robots to replace teachers. I have already sealed my fate by promising to be a pathologist, but you still have time to make up your mind. Instead of wanting to be a video game creator, star athlete, or a guitarist in a band, think of a teaching career, something that will actually aid the future generation as well as your own future.

Angelous