In memory of Vanessa Yasintha Wambura (August 2003 – August 2023).
Is this a good question to ask: Do you have parents? If yes, how happy and grateful are you? How is your relationship with them? I have been reading “The 6 Most Important Decisions You’ll Ever Make” by Sean Covey, and found one that was really important, and one that we frankly forget or even take for granted (read Josiah’s) as we get older… your… PARENTS! Parents have been there for us since we landed into this Earth (thanks to God!). They’re the fountain of our lives! We may think they don’t love us ENOUGH for some apparent reasons, but they do! They have kept you alive for your early precious years and continue to care about you! They may “command” or “hurt” you; but, they’re raising you to be the best self you can be. They may have some struggles and challenges or might be going through some tough times, but they make sure you’re nurtured and safe at each milestone and hopefully will never shut you out so should you.
I know for sure my parents are there for me every day. During the summer my father went on a trip in a far Eastern country. He was gone for two weeks and the war erupted while he’s there and I worried and missed him so much. Yet, he still managed to be there for me; he emailed us and made sure to call every possible chance he could. That reassured me and in fact I knew he was still safe and thinking about us, made the two weeks somewhat bearable.
Remember to treat your parents the way you want to be treated or respected someday when you become a parent like them. Parents make mistakes too but that does not by any means diminish their value. Lots of people think that their parents aren’t there for them. They dread going home after school and they argue with their mom or dad almost every now and then. Others think their parents are embarrassing or annoying (Covey). They don’t want to be seen with their parents because they’re afraid they’ll embarrass them. It’s hard to believe some people even hurt, kill, threaten or assault their parents. It’s dangerous and definitely not “Cool”. It’s wrong, mean and can cause you serious jail time.
You may start hating your parents after a divorce/separation, drugs and addictions, accidents, time they served in jail, not seeming to be there for you, etc. I noticed while checking online that kids start disliking their parents more near adolescences. They start to have boyfriends or girlfriends and hanging out with them more. They spend less time with parents and slowly their relationship starts to drift apart. Then they have this weird need to always be right and even though our parents are right they want to be the right one. They start arguing for bad reasons and won’t stop till they are proven to be right. Take this conversation as an example:
Mom: Son, you have to stop smoking. It’s bad for your lungs.
Son: No it’s not mom.
Mom: Yes it is honey, I want what is best for you.
Son: It’s none of your business mom!
Mom: Yes it is!
Son: It’s my life mom. So back off.
Mom: Okay son, I’m just taking care of you.
Son: I’m not a little kid anymore!
Or
Dad: Shana, why don’t you start doing your homework?
Shana: After I finish texting Marge.
Dad: Homework first, texting later (in command tone!)
Shana: Dad! Give me an hour.
Dad: NOW SHANA!
Shana: Dad, stop controlling my life! I’m old enough to take care of myself
Dad: Honey, how are you going to start a new life if you don’t get a good education?
Shana: GRRR! I hate my life, I hate this family and I hate you!
Dad: I hope that’s not how you really feel.
Shana: Dad, I’m not a little kid anymore!
I hope you and your parents have a good relationship. If not, there are things you can do about that. Sit down and have a one on one conversation, spend more time together, plan events together, talk to each other, pray to God, see a professional help, deal out issues whatever way. Don’t be rebellious or selfish toward your parents even when you’re on your own feet and free (yap we all would love that someday!!) and they’re on their old ages and in need of you around more than before…
Please, remember that there is always a reason behind everything. Love, care, kindness, and respect to one another are the keys to nurture any relationships. Trust them, cherish them and always be there for each other. Remember too how God commanded us with promise: “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the LORD your God gives you.” Exodus 20:12. Nurture that!!
All the best my dear watotoz & Asante!
Vanessa Wambura