Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone asks you to do them a favour or go somewhere with them etc.… and you want to say no but you can’t and you end up saying yes? I have and I think it’s because we as individuals are scared to say no to someone because we think that we will hurt their feelings or that they will be angry or disappointed but that is only human! Even though it’s ok to say yes when you want to say no once in a while, you shouldn’t do it very often because as Joyce Meyer says in her book Trusting God day by day.
“Sometimes you have to say ‘no’ to others in order to say ‘yes’ to yourself,”
I think what she means by that is that sometimes when someone asks you to do something that you really don’t want to do and you say no, by saying no to them you have said yes to yourself. It’s just like not being selfish or selfless! While it’s awesome to put others before yourself sometimes, we should never feel guilty or ashamed of thinking of ourselves first sometimes! If we spend our whole lives putting everyone else before ourselves, then we may never grow to become the confident happy person we want to be!
25Apr2015While we may have grown up being told to put others before ourselves, I believe that it should be the other way around. We should put ourselves before others so we can love ourselves! How am I to love and care for others when I can’t even love and care for myself? It’s just like this famous quote I’ve heard, “Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.”
When I do end up saying “no” sometimes I find myself falling over my feet to explain because I don’t want my friends and family to think that I never say yes even though I usually do but really, most of the time there is no need to explain. When someone asks you if you want to go to the mall and you say “No thanks” there’s no need to go into a long and detailed explanation! If you have a good reason than fine! But there is no need for everyone else to know it to! Sometimes it’s good to do or not do things because you just do or don’t want to!
Now remember! I’m not saying you should go and live your life without caring for others and not doing what they wish to do just so you can make them happy because it’s still nice to be nice to others and sometimes put them before yourself or say yes even if you want to say no. Do what feels right! Follow your instincts! Love yourself and others!
Serena Wambura.